Welcome back to school! I hope that you all had a wonderful summer and that you were able to spend time with friends and family doing things you love.
It has been a busy start here at CA! Our Fall Welcome and the Terry Fox Run were fantastic events aimed at creating connection among our community. September is all about Connection and Collaboration.
This year, I am focused on speaking to trends I am noticing in the students to provide some immediate “real time” support to you at home. With that in mind, I am going to focus on helping our students better understand and manage anxiety as we have already seen a number of individuals facing intense anxiety.
What is Anxiety Exactly?
- Anxiety is overestimating that something bad is going to happen and underestimating one’s ability to deal with it.
- Anxiety happens in the brain and is an automatic, instantaneous response to danger (real or perceived—the brain doesn’t know the difference). We can’t eliminate it and shouldn’t try!
- Our body surges with hormones and gets ready to fight or flee.
- The natural end to fight or flight is intense physical exercise. When there is no need to fight or flee, there is nothing to burn up the neurochemicals, causing the physical symptoms of anxiety. For example:
- headaches, nausea, trouble sleeping, muscle tension, fatigue, dizziness, tightness in the chest, trouble breathing, rapid heartbeat, or sweaty palms.
- Anxiety is not dangerous; it is just very uncomfortable.
- Remember, anxiety can be very convincing. We think we are parenting our child and talking to them about going to school, or a tryout, or an activity, but really, we are talking to anxiety. How do you spot the difference? Anxiety talks about what is going to happen and focuses on future worries. When anxiety is not in charge, your child is able to talk about options, other possibilities, something that happened this morning, etc. Don’t parent anxiety. Name it. Say, “I think I am talking to worry right now. I would like to talk to you.”
What Do We Do as Parents to Help?
- From an early age, we communicate that we believe in our children’s abilities to do scary and hard things. We try not to rush in and rescue, or the message becomes, “you need me to solve this problem. You don’t have this. It is a really big deal.”
- We help our children learn how to sit with uncomfortable feelings, and we resist the urge to jump in and “make it all better.”
- We don’t enable anxiety by doing things for our kids that they can reasonably be expected to do at their given age and stage. When adults jump in, it changes brain development and makes kids more vulnerable. They don’t learn how to solve problems or how to experience manageable stress. This stunts confidence and resilience. For example,
- Ordering for your child at a restaurant
- Letting them skip an activity because it makes them anxious
- Asking teachers to excuse them from tasks that make them anxious
- We monitor and limit time spent on screens, and we model this by limiting our own consumption.
- We listen and validate our child’s feelings without solving the problem. For example,
- “You’re right, that was a tough assignment.”
- “Sounds like it’s hard for you to ask questions in class.”
- “That makes sense that you feel nervous about the test. You want to do well.”
Rewiring the Brain: What Our Children Can Do
How amazing it is that we can rewire our brains and make new neural connections over time and with practice?
Change the Script
- Stand up to anxiety.
- Welcome it here; acknowledge and accept it.
- Make fun of it for being so predictable.
Try New and Challenging Things
- Practice makes perfect.
- Build the brain muscle.
- Lean into discomfort; the fight or flight response will become less reactive.
Reality Testing
- Test your predictions.
- Check the facts.
- Keep track of every time the “bad thing” doesn’t happen.
Work to Eliminate Your Safety Behaviours
- Don’t avoid “the thing” that causes your anxiety.
- Don’t focus on getting rid of your anxiety; focus on changing your relationship with it.
- You can’t control your level of anxiety, but you can control your willingness to sit with it.
For further reading in this area, you may wish to check out:
- Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD by Eli R. Lebowitz
- The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
- Anxious Kids Anxious Parents by Lynn Lyons
- How do we deal with School Refusal?
Counselling Services and Support
We continue to have a counsellor supporting the needs of our learners in Grades K–6. If you want to have your child connect with her, please reach out to Jenny Duffield.
I am here to support the needs of our Grades 7–12 students. If you want your child to connect with me, please reach out to me.
Lastly, if you have any questions or concerns regarding your child’s learning journey, you can also reach out to our Head of Student Supports, Paige McDonald.
Serena Braun,
Registered Psychologist
News from Student Wellbeing
Hello, my name is Demetra Mylonas, and it is my pleasure to introduce myself in my new role as Student Wellbeing Specialist at Calgary Academy. My approach to student wellbeing combines my background in neuropsychology, educational psychology, and special education, along with extensive work in cognitive developmental research and practice, neurodiverse learning, and mental health in schools.
In my time at Calgary Academy, it has been an honour to work with our diverse learners as an educational assistant, and for the past two years, I have been a part of the Mental Health in Schools, Alberta government pilot project in various roles that broadened my knowledge and experience.
I am so excited to support the mental health and wellbeing of our students through collaborative work with our community, including staff, educators, students, families, and the community at large. I am a proud parent of three graduates and a current student of Calgary Academy, and have an unapologetic bias for CA’s mission, vision, values, and its people.
As part of a caring and dedicated CA team, we aim to centre on student and educator voice, family engagement, and deep social-emotional learning integration to continue building an inclusive, caring, and successful school community.
As part of our September theme of making connections and focusing on collaboration to help us all succeed and be well, I am so proud of our staff, students and families for a very successful Terry Fox campaign, our respect for Truth and Reconciliation Day and for the enthusiasm and commitment to our school spirit with the launch of our House celebrations!
In October, our school will focus on resilience and perseverance, and through classroom lessons and school activities, students will gain a repertoire of skills that help them continue to build on their strengths and reach for their goals, even when things are challenging or uninteresting.
If you have any questions or would like more information, please contact me. Until then, be happy, be brave, and know that you are part of a community of care!