Psychologist’s Perspective: November 2025

November 21, 2025 6 min read

I am not sure how it is already the end of November, but here we are! I hope you have been enjoying the weather. Perhaps you are already looking forward to the December break. My daughter and I are heading to Mexico, and I am looking forward to that!

As staff, we have been learning more about neurodiversity and neurodivergence. As such, I thought it might be helpful to share some of that learning with you. This month, we will focus on a broad overview of neurodiversity affirming care. Next month, we will spotlight autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, and specific learning disorders.

Key Terms to Know

  • Neurodiversity: An umbrella term used to describe all people and the unique ways their brains work! Neuro = the brain and how it works. Diversity = difference
  • Neurotypical (NT): Brain functioning that is considered “typical” in processing and learning
  • Neurodivergent (ND): A term used to describe an individual or group of people with a particular variation of diversity (ADHD, ASD, Specific Learning Disorders, etc.). These differences are characterized by variations in the brain or neurological functioning.
  • Identity First Language (IFL): Research indicates that identity-first language is the preference among many neurodivergent individuals. For example, Peter is Autistic. However, others prefer person-first language. For example, Peter is on the autism spectrum. Always ask about and use the person’s preference.

The goal of neurodiversity affirming care and creating a neurodiversity affirming school is to view others through a lens of differences rather than deficits. It is about changing the way we think and speak about these differences. It is also about prioritizing a person’s strengths and interests. Often, in education (and in psychology), there is a reliance on deficit-based language. There is a focus on what the child can’t do, what skills they are lacking, what the problem is, what’s wrong, etc. It presumes that the child is broken and needs to be fixed.

Using neurodiversity-affirming language is one way to see and honour the whole child. It creates a space where children feel seen and heard. They feel safe to be themselves and stop “masking” in an effort to fit in with their peers. Neurodiversity-affirming language attempts to present neutral information, moves away from the notion of right vs. wrong, and, most importantly, presumes competence.

How do we presume competence? In Neurodiversity Affirming Schools, Emily Kircher-Morris and Amanda Morin suggest the following five ways:

  • We assume every student is able to learn.
  • We know all students are intelligent in their own way.
  • We see differences as different, not less.
  • We respect students’ independence and their right to be communicated with directly in age-appropriate ways, and we use language and examples they understand.
  • We recognize there are multiple ways for students to show what they do.

As parents, this may mean changing the way we view our child’s ND profile. It may mean that we have to change the way in which we speak about their abilities. It may also mean that we have to look at parenting our ND child differently than we currently do. There are common differences among ND profiles that may help us better understand our own child. We will look at those in more depth next month, but here are some common differences we may see that may cause frustration and stress in the home:

  • Neurodivergent individuals often have challenges with everyday tasks that seem easy for their neurotypical peers. They are not lazy; their executive functioning (EF) skills just need more time to develop. Teachers and parents need to be their surrogate frontal lobes whilst teaching them important strategies to manage and further develop their EF.
  • Many neurodivergent individuals engage in stimming (self-stimulating behaviour), which may help with self-regulation and/or allow for the expression of feelings. Stimming may look like twirling hair, biting nails, rocking back and forth, flapping hands, arching, or tensing parts of the body, etc. If it is not dangerous, let them stim!
  • Many neurodivergent individuals engage in masking (suppressing or hiding their natural qualities or differences to appear more “typical”). Masking can be stressful, exhausting, and create dysregulation and burnout.
  • Many neurodivergent individuals experience differences in how they experience, process, and use sensory information (there are more senses than you think). When these needs are not met, this can cause discomfort and even pain. This is an excellent resource to explore with your child and possibly share with their teacher. While aimed at Autism, it is excellent for all ND individuals.
  • Being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world can be extremely stressful and can cause dysregulation. This may lead to meltdowns (externalized behaviours such as hitting, screaming, or sobbing), shutdowns (internalized behaviours such as zoning out, avoiding tasks, or not communicating, or burnout (a continued state of overwhelm that can cause a loss of skills and decreased tolerance to demands).

My challenge is this: for the rest of the month, observe the language you use when referring to your child’s differences. When you see “challenging behaviour,” remember that all behaviour is communication. Start by assuming that your child is not being “lazy” or “defiant” and then ask yourself some questions. What may be causing this behaviour? Why might my child be dysregulated? Have they been at school all day, and their battery is empty? Do they need time to recharge? Do they need more EF support? Are they facing sensory challenges? Start noticing and asking questions!

Support

Counselling Services & Wraparound Support

We continue to have a counsellor supporting the needs of our learners in Grades K–6. If you would like to have your child connect with her, please reach out to Jenny Duffield.

I am here to support the needs of our Grades 7-12 students. If you would like your child to connect with me, please reach out to me via email.

Lastly, if you have any questions or concerns regarding your child’s learning journey, you can also reach out to our Head of Student Supports, Paige McDonald.